27
Jul
10

wondering about a raise

if it were only this easy...

I’m looking to present the boss with a request for a raise, or a quarterly bonus, or some type of something that recognizes the awesome job I did today.

If I were an air traffic controller I would have prevented about 57 jets from crashing into a flock of 497 seagulls over a giant ocean.

If I were a surgeon I would have just separated no fewer than 4 conjoined beings in less than 2.5 hours.

If I were a police woman I would have just not only prevented the bank from being robbed, but also worked the drive-thru window, remembering to give suckers to the ones in minivans and dog biscuits to the furry ones with their heads out the window.

If I were a hairdresser I would just have given you the kick-assest haircut (with the perfect face framing bangs) that’s styled in less than 10 seconds. And instead of wiry grey hairs creeping around, your new golden highlights would reflect the life-giving glow of the sun.

That is how I good I am. Or was. Today. Not every day is Mom of the Year kind of stuff. But today…

I managed to prevent the typical giant night-time tantrum (a la 4- year old)  that interestingly enough coincides with bed time. Not only did I prevent a crying, screaming mess involving at least one child and one very frustrated adult,  I also did the following:

Read 3 (Yes 3) Dr. Suess stories with grit and conviction.

Brushed one set of ‘rather be ignored and plaque covered’ four-year old teeth.

Sang breathtaking renditions of several bedtime classics.

Carried, BY PIGGYBACK, said 4- year old to bed, without waking up already sleeping 2-year old on the bottom bunk.

Tucked above 4-year old in and said goodnight, with no less than THREE kisses.

Now, a mere 17 minutes later it is quiet. I’ll repeat that in case you missed it, 17 minutes.

Now, what glorious activities shall I indulge in?

Sleep, the most glorious of all.

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2 Responses to “wondering about a raise”


  1. 1 Tom Anderson-Brown
    July 27, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    You are the bomb! That is impressive. Very impressive.

  2. July 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    You are a police-woman, of sorts.

    Glossing Over It


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now what’s that now?

what’s done is done


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