09
Sep
10

dear everyone…

Zombie fighters need sticks. It's a fact of life.

Dear everyone…

trying to have a campfire Saturday night

  •  My children along with their equally annoying cousins were running around screaming as they played zombie chaser and shined their flashlights in other people’s eyes. These are my children and I am truly sorry.

trying to walk quickly through the door to Copps Grocery Store of Madison that we happen to also be trying to walk through.

  • My children have no concept at all of timeliness or even forward movement at times. These are my children and I am truly sorry.

trying to shop in peace in said grocery store.

  • My children have now completed “the change” and become small human like demons that chase each other down the aisles of the grocery store. These are my children and I am truly sorry.

trying to park their car next to mine as I load an unruly toddler into it.

  • My children do not believe in safety restraints of any kind and will fight like hell before they will be bound by any sort of societal expectations of safety. These are my children and I am truly sorry.

who thinks playing with sticks is dangerous.

  • I don’t care. If my children want to play light sabers with sticks and one of them pokes the other in the eye, well, they probably won’t do it again. But, it bothers you, so I am a little sorry.

who has been accosted by a small child asking about the presence or non-presence of your vagina.

  • This is actually not my child. However, I may have been the person who introduced the above vocabulary into his vernacular by answering his question about where the dog’s penis is. For this I am truly sorry to all those accosted and even more sorry to the mother of this child.
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1 Response to “dear everyone…”


  1. September 9, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    I am sorry too. I suppose I am responsible as well for the lack of stringent standards. I like to parent “with tolerance”, meaning many of the things that are OK with me are not OK with other parents. A good example is swordfighting with water noodles. What’s the big deal? Apparently some people think this sort of creative outlet for instinctual violence is not to be tolerated. I believe the activity gives me time to drink another beer before I’m bothered by my kids. Plus, you can’t poke your eye out with a water noodle.


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now what’s that now?

what’s done is done


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