inside the mind of a 4 and 11/12 year old

Daddy's in charge! Pajamas, swords and grape juice all day!

Clothes? Shit. Why she gotta be all on my back about clothes. I’m fine in boxer shorts and a Lego star wars pajama top. They call them boxer SHORTS for a reason mom.

What’s she asking me? A blue or yellow shirt? Why do I gotta wear blue or yellow today?

Because the preschool newsletter says so? Hellz no. I don’t do nothing no preschool newsletter tells me to. I ain’t wearing no blue or yellow shirt just cause we’re learning about colors. Shit. I know my colors man.

I’m just wearing my pajamas all day. And my boxer shorts. And my crocs. If I can’t go to school then that’s fine with me. I’ll just chill here and watch PBS kids all day. That channel is dope.

What? Fruit snacks? Are you attempting to buy me off? Are you trying to offer me sweet, fruity treats in exchange for my timely dressing?

Well that changes things then. Hellz yeah, I will put on this BLUE shirt that mom laid out on the floor for me so neatly. I will wear the shit out of that blue shirt and on Friday I’ll wear red.

In exchange for Scooby Doo fruit snacks. Ohhhhh yeahhhh.


1 Response to “inside the mind of a 4 and 11/12 year old”

  1. September 22, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    Hilarious. As someone who is food motivated, I get this.

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now what’s that now?

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