05
Nov
10

death to the cat in the hat

Why can't this cat in a hat have a show?

Courtesy of our local library system (thank you liberal big government) my children have discovered a fantabulous dvd series of a supermagnifico short-lived tv series called The Wubbulous World of Dr. Suess. A brain stinging combination of puppets and old school computer animation with a dash of the obvious green screen thrown in and you’ve got it.

Now, apparently we’ve got it too. Like a disease. 2 discs come home with us and by the miracle of free public library we are allowed to keep them for a week. Luckily I have the balls and know how to hide them after just 3 days. Here’s the conversation following initial viewing:

Middle: Mommy, talk like Cat in the Hat.

Me: I’m not sure I know how to do that.

Middle: Just say anything you want to. [smiles sweetly, so sweetly]

Me: Alright then, How are you doing friends? [I repeat verbatim from the dvd that just played, straight from the cat’s mouth as it were.]

Middle: THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO IT!!!!!!! [all caps and excessive exclamation points indicate a tone of screaming just barely heard by humans, but well heard by dogs everywhere.]

Me: You told me to say anything I wanted to!

Middle: NOT THAT!!!!!!!

Me: I don’t know what you want me to do! [notice lack of all caps and only 1 exclamation cap. I’m only screaming on the inside.]

Middle: JUST SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!!!!!

What I figured out after losing some level of my hearing to the screaming, was that as long as I said it in the right tone and it RHYMED, it didn’t matter what I said.

So…

Put on your coat became:

Now, put on your coat,or you’ll be cold.

Run along now and do as you’re told.

Time for socks and shoes became:

It’s time for you to put on a sock,

So it won’t hurt if you step on a rock.

and on and on and on and on and on…

But, if I forgot to say it in the right tone, the special Cat in the Hat tone, the screaming ensued once more.

Now, brain = fried

Discs = never to enter this house again

Cat in the hat = dead to me

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now what’s that now?

what’s done is done


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