how to fall asleep in four easy steps (ages 2-10)

it used to be so easy.. except at 2 a.m and again at 4 and then at 5:15.

1. Shut up. I mean this in the nicest possible way. Shut. Your. Mouth. and stop the sound that comes out of it.

2. Lay down.  A prone position is nice on a surface that’s known as a BED. It’s for sleeping (and other stuff when you get a lot, lot, older, like 30).

3. Stop Moving. Seriously. Stop. Somersaults not conducive to sleep, my sweet, sweet, precious angel of a child.

4. Close eyes. 99.9% of the population sleeps with their eyes closed. Join the party my friend.

I promise you that if you diligently practice and perfect these four steps, you will fall asleep. There’s not a money back guarantee because you don’t have any money, except mine.

Kiss. Kiss. Nighty. Night


1 Response to “how to fall asleep in four easy steps (ages 2-10)”

  1. February 16, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    Seems pretty straightforward to me!

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now what’s that now?

what’s done is done


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