why do my boys think they’re the bomb?

a punching bag on the front porch= my entire house is a man cave

I mean they totally are of course, but they’re so damn sure of it. Where does that amazingly high self-esteem come from?

There are few things in this sometimes ugly world that I like more than a self-satisfied toddler. You know when they figure something out for the first time or discover something new; they get this look, like “yea, I got.” I LOVE that. They’re strutting all around with their drunk toddler walking and their baggy butts, probably got food on their face or green snot coming out of their nose, but there is no damn way that you could tell them that they weren’t the hottest thing since facebook. LOVE it.

The self-satisfied toddler turns into the superhuman preschooler. “Hey honey, I don’t think you should get that close to the edge of the Grand Canyon; you might fall!”

“No mom, it’s cool. I won’t fall.”

I have tried countless times to argue with one of my boys about personal safety. It’s a moot point to them. They are protected by the impenetrable bubble of self esteem. It’s a ridiculous argument.

“Please don’t run with scissor pointing up towards your eye.”

“It’s okay mom.”

“No, really it’s not.”

“No mom, it’s okay, there is no way that I’m poking my eye out. I’m just like above all that.”

“No, there actually is a big #$#@ing way you’re poking your eye out… because you just did.”

“No, I didn’t.”

So the superhuman preschooler turns into the greatest jedi in the history of elementary school. You can not tell Big that he is not an actual jedi with the personal capability to destroy the sith with one hand tied behind his back. He just knows it. There’s no discussion, he just is a jedi. Not just any jedi either. He’s the best.

do not go there, just do not.

I do not remember having this level of self-assuredness, and if I did it was gone by the time I was like 11. So I started wondering, is there a gender difference in self esteem? Does the fact that my boys know they’re awesome come from a general interest in risk-taking (thus the indifference to safety hazards like huge canyons and very pointy metal objects)? Does the fact that they already know they’re way stronger in the force than anyone else in the family come from a great imagination?

So that leads me to the question of the week…

why do my boys think they’re the bomb?

This one turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be to find information on. I have this vague inkling that sometime I read something about this topic in some book and thought… mmmm interesting, where’s the ice cream? For the life of me I couldn’t find it. So, I turned to the wide world of the web and after reading many insanely boring abstracts from research studies that invovled a lot of words and number type dealies I didn’t understand, I found a science blog from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. There I found written in plain english (go badgers) the results of a study of over 150,000 participants. The study looked at this very question only it was worded way more scientifically (I don’t think they used the term “the bomb”).

The results? They found no measurable difference in self-esteem between college age men and women. Hmmmm. Interesting. Given that I only have boys, I have no girl offspring to compare them too? Is this just totally normal for the toddler to school age set? Anyone out there with girls and boys notice a difference? Anyone out there at all?

just 'cause the muscles are fake, don't mean the attitude ain't real


3 Responses to “why do my boys think they’re the bomb?”

  1. 1 Jennifer
    April 11, 2011 at 3:13 am

    Confidence is a good thing!

    Choose Happiness & Success!

    • April 11, 2011 at 12:34 pm

      No doubt! I’d love to bottle this up and make sure I can feed it to them for the rest of their lives, especially when they’re gangly adolescents. I was sooo lacking in self esteem when I was young and prett much my whole life, I just wondered if it had anything to do with their boyness, but no it doesn’t. It’s just me. Nurture over nature on this one, maybe?

  2. April 11, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    When I was a boy (from 2 yrs to about 27 yrs) I had a feeling of invincibility. I think boys like challenging themselves and finding risky situations. I did and I’ve got a few scars to prove it, and even now I’m proud of those scars and the stories behind them.

    But the real reason these boys are the bomb is because their mom is the bomb. Simple as that.

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now what’s that now?

what’s done is done


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